A tree truck load of arborist jokes, funny arborist puns, arborist humor, and other amusing things about being an arborist, tree surgeon, forest ranger, tree climber, or tree care professional.
What do you get when you cross a tree with a chainsaw?
Why can’t an arborist ever win a race against a climbing rope?
Because it will always end with a tie.
Who is the best singer according to most arborists?
What’s the most popular dating app for arborists?
How do you know when an arborist has had one too many drinks?
She starts trunk texting her axe.
What do you get when you cross a fish with a multi-stemmed tree?
Have you met the jerk who owns the world’s greatest wood chipper?
He leaves mulch to be desired.
Why are juniper trees so adaptable?
Because they go with the phloem.
How do you get down off a tree?
You don’t. You get down off a duck.
More Arborist Jokes:
Can you help me identify this weeping tree?
Yes, but you willow me one.
You won’t believe what my arborist did while he was in the middle of dismantling a hazardous tree in the backyard.
I told him he was doing a great job, and then he took a bough!
Who’s the happiest member of an arborist’s crew?
The chipper guy.
Why did the claustrophobic arborist vow that she would never go camping in the woods again?
Her last experience felt way too in-tents.
What does Spanish moss do for fun?
Hang out with its bros! Bromeliads that is.
What’s the best thing to do for a blue spruce tree?
Tell a joke to cheer it up.
What do trees native to America do when they have to go?
Take a treepee.
How did the tree surgeon break her leg?
She had a falling out with a tall patient.
Did you hear about the arborist who was wrongly accused of stealing a tree?
Someone planted the evidence on his property.
What type of timber is best for building a music hall?
Even More Jokes:
What did the tree say to the drill?
You bore me.
Why are river birches so good with money?
Because they grow up in banks.
Rookie arborists don’t understand what it’s like to climb a tall tree first thing in the morning…
…and then it dawns on them.
Why is the fruit beneath Citrus aurantifolia so awesome?
Because it’s sublime.
Why is the tulip the state tree of Indiana, Kentucky, and Tennessee?
Because they are so poplar.
Why did the short tree take a long nap when it found out it was actually a tall shrub?
Because it was totally bushed.
Do you know what arborists do when the fruit dries up on a plum tree?
Why do the city’s street trees have more credibility than the park benches?
Because the benches are usually full of sit and the trees always keep it arboreal.
Two arborists who were bitter rivals for more than a decade absolutely hated each other until yesterday. Today they are friends. What happened?
Both of them signed a peace tree-ty.
Why is it so difficult to run a tree care company?
Because every employee acts like a branch manager.
Now we want to read your arborist jokes! So, what’s your favorite joke about arborists, tree work, or landscaping? Send your submission to us via email if you’d like to see them featured here on the Trees Group site.
If you like these arborist jokes, we encourage you to check out some excellent tree jokes, forest jokes, Christmas tree jokes, tree puns, tree riddles, tree quotes, nature quotes, season quotes, and forest quotes from all over the world.